Choosing Your Paradigm
Have you heard the parable of the Blind Men and the Elephant?
It’s the story of a group of blind men who have never come across an elephant before. They try to imagine what the elephant is like by touching it. Each blind man feels a different part of the elephant's body, but only one part, such as the side or the tusk. They then describe the elephant based on their limited experience and, as you can imagine, their descriptions of the elephant are different from each other.
In some versions, they come to suspect that the other person is dishonest and they come to blows. The moral of the parable is that humans have a tendency to claim absolute truth based on their limited, subjective experience as they ignore other people's limited, subjective experiences which may be equally true.[1]
This story humbles me. Just when I think I’ve got the elephant figured out, I realize I’ve only touched one whisk of hair on its tail.
Everyone Has One
Everyone has a particular paradigm through which they see the world and everything and everyone in it. Your paradigm might be informed by your faith. Mine is. It could be one that’s been handed down through the generations. Mine is. It could be one that’s been formed through pain and trauma, or blessing and privilege. Mine also is.
You have one. And so does everybody else.
Here’s the problem: I was raised to believe that mine was the absolute right paradigm, and everyone else’s was absolutely wrong. Sure, I was raised to be a nice guy—I was kind to everybody. But my evangelical Christian upbringing made me believe that everyone else’s paradigm was a pathway to hell—a very literal eternity of fiery misery.
I was taught to be nice, but I wasn’t taught to be respectful. And I think that’s a huge problem—not just today, but it has been for decades and decades.
If I don’t respect your paradigm, I can write you off. Cancel you. I don’t have to listen to you. There is nothing I can learn from you. You’ve got a big problem, and I have the solution. This sounds completely nuts when it’s put this way, doesn’t it?
A huge part of my life’s journey…heck, a big part of growing up…is a continual refining of my paradigm. Evaluating which pieces work, and which pieces don’t work any longer.
The biggest change for me is that I no longer believe I have the correct paradigm that everyone else in the world should claim as their own. Can you imagine the arrogance? Are there good elements, perhaps even truth, in my paradigm? For sure. But I’m also open to the possibility that you (or any other person) also hold some element of truth. Maybe even more than me! I can learn something from everybody.
Some people have said there are close to 20,000 different Christian denominations. The dichotomies in centuries of religious academia is staggering. No one has it all figured out. The Bible even says, “We only see now through a glass dimly.” Those who are convinced they are seeing absolutely clearly are to be suspect. For in fact, we are all simply holding on to one hair of the elephant’s tail—to be generous.
Let me be super clear: I’m not abandoning my Christian faith. In many ways it’s stronger and richer than it’s ever been. But part of my maturing in the faith has been being willing to let go of some of the parts that just don’t make much sense. And waking up to how certain perspectives I’ve held onto were denigrating and disrespectful to so many incredibly beautiful people—all creations of God.
Letting go of the certainty of my “rightness” means I live more often in the realms of “hmm, I’m not sure about that” or “I have no idea.” But it’s opened me up to understanding more clearly what it means to actually love people. To humble myself, set aside judgment or criticism, and find great value in what another person has to offer. It’s not about me just being nice, in order to convince someone to adopt my particular paradigm. It’s about learning how to walk alongside people, celebrating with them through the good times, but also holding their arms up when they are weak, and letting them help me keep going when I can’t bear to take the next step. Even if we don’t see eye to eye on some particulars.
Is everyone’s paradigm valid and worthy of respect? Absolutely, especially if you believe (like the Bible says) that we are all created in the image of God. This means every single person is capable of revealing a part of God that you aren’t able to do yourself. That should be enough to raise your eyes in greeting the next time someone walks past you.
Making It Practical
Were any of the men in the story right about the elephant? Were any of them completely wrong?
How are the debates over today’s issues simply a matter of perspective? Would this understanding allow us to learn from people with differing perspectives?
How do you handle different perspectives and ideas, especially about topics you’re very passionate about?
In what ways can you seek understanding with another person, instead of dismissing or avoiding them?
New Music Is Brewing
Some of you might know that I’ve recorded nine albums and performed concerts all around the country. Some of you might think that I’ve given up on my music (I certainly have been wondering if I have!). The answer is a strong nope. Music is my heart and soul, and I’m hoping to return to some of the joy of creating and sharing music that has been such a big part of my life…but which got buried under unmet expectations, exhaustion, stress, oh… and a pandemic. I plan on keeping you posted about what I’m working on.
What’s my most popular song? “Emmanuel (You Are With Me)” - heard in the film “The Perfect Gift” - written with and produced by Tim Brown. I get emails from people all over the world about this song. (Listen here to the film version!)
A couple other versions can be found on Spotify, Apple Music, or YouTube.
Favorite songs I’ve recorded? “Pilgrim Man,” “Brave” (written with and produced by John Behrens) or “Rest In You” (written with and produced by Christopher Davis).
Favorite album made? Beloved - it’s all love songs, half originals and half covers.
Have you heard any of my music? You can listen to all my music on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube…and I even have some CDs in my closet that I’d be glad to send you for nearly free. Just send me a message or leave me a comment if you’re interested. Do you have any favorites you’d like other people to make sure they hear?