Every Relationship is Worth Fighting For

Doesn't Mean It's Going To Be Easy

Photo by jean wimmerlin on Unsplash

I saw a Facebook post where someone wrote, “Well, they weren’t worth being your friend anyway.”

I’m sure it was meant to be a comment of solidarity to someone who had been hurt. But I couldn’t help but feel sad.

Why do we so easily write off other people?

I’m sure you’ve seen it, too, over the recent years… Someone’s political or religious opinions become too extreme, and you’ve got to create some distance between you and them so your head doesn’t explode.

Maybe you’ve been hurt by someone and you need time and distance to heal. It all makes sense to me. Locking horns with someone time and time again is completely exhausting.

Let me ask you this… I’m kind of asking you to think about this situation, but in reverse.

Is there someone that you’ve been close with in the past, that for some reason or another, you’re no longer close? Maybe you can’t even remember the reason… Maybe you can EXACTLY remember the reason, and you can’t imagine ever reconnecting.

I have a feeling there is someone in the world right now, thinking about you from time to time, and wondering why so much distance has come between you. And they wish it was different.

I Believe All Relationship Are Worth Fighting For

Relationships are the most important aspect of my life. For better or worse, relationships are what bring me the most joy…and the most pain. Same for you? Because I derive so much value from relationships, when one goes awry, it’s nearly impossible to just shrug my shoulders and say, “Oh well.”

It’s almost as if the older I get, the more sadness from broken relationships I have to carry around. Like additional bricks being added to my life’s backpack. Yet I still hope.

I still hope for restoration. I still hope for redemption. I still hope for reconciliation.

This hope sometimes feels like looking through a haystack for a hay-colored needle. It’s not the easiest. But there’s something in my gut that is convinced the needle is in there, and it’s worth finding. I believe it’s the same for you and me, and all of our relationships.

What Does It Mean To Fight For A Relationship?

1. Wave a White Flag. It all starts by expressing a desire to reconnect. This doesn’t necessarily mean an all-access “now we’re best friends again” situation. It probably means creating realistic expectations and finding healthy boundaries. But it all starts with a “Hey, I was just thinking about you today, and am so grateful for the time we had together.” Sometimes you’ll be met with silence. Others times a momentary text exchange. Other times a healing conversation occurs.

2. Find Common Ground. For me, we are all connected in God. We are all brothers and sisters, with the same love (and desire to be loved) running through our veins. Life is beautiful when we’re living in unity. I believe that no matter our differences, we have so much inwardly in common. Yes, some of our differences make us very beautiful, but I don’t want them to keep us from drawing closer together in love and kindness. Focus on what you have in common. Focus on the good.

3. Uncover Humility. Apologize for how you hurt the other person. You don’t have to make a big deal about this, but it’s important to acknowledge how your actions have been hurting others and how you’d like to change. Maybe you’ve just dropped the ball on keeping in touch. Maybe it was a greater betrayal. You can play a part in someone else’s redemption story. Sometimes it just takes one text message.

I recently experienced reconciliation with someone who hnad bee a very close friend. I wish I could announce that I handled everything perfectly and I did nothing wrong. But that’s not the case. And it’s complicated. But we talked and laughed. And I cried, as I had been holding onto hope for a long time that somehow….somehow…we’d connect again. I hung up convinced that miracles still happen. I don’t know how, or when or why they do or don’t.

My hope is that you will keep believing, as well.