Forgiveness Will Change Your Pain
I just heard an example of forgiveness that took my breath away. I’m guessing it wasn’t on the news.
You probably heard about the recent shooting in Nashville, TN at the Christian-based Covenant School where six people were murdered by a former student of the school— Hallie Scruggs, Evelyn Dieckhaus and William Kinney, all 9; Mike Hill, 61, a school custodian; Cynthia Peak, 61, a substitute teacher; and Katherine Koonce, 60, the head of the school. A seventh person was also killed that morning—the shooter, Audrey Hale, 28.
But something incredibly beautiful emerged from this horrific tragedy. The families of Covenant School came together to powerfully demonstrate what Christian love and forgiveness can look like: they raised money to help cover funeral costs for the shooter’s family.
Wow. I was simply stunned when I read this. The school’s families weren’t saying that there was anything ok with what happened. They weren’t saying they had to get justice for what happened. They were simply expressing that forgiveness is the best way to get through grief, and then asking how they could best express that forgiveness—by choosing selfless service to another grieving family.
Here’s another story for you. I heard something amazing while I was doing prison ministry down in Nashville. My buddy Steve told me about a friend of his (let’s call him Jeff) who had been inside for 30 years—and he’s only 47 years old. And while he’s been up for parole a couple times before this latest time, each time prior one of his victim’s family members was there to speak against his release.
But something happened this past week. Something changed.
Yes, the victim’s sister was still there. But something changed in her. She said that she believed it was time for him to be released. That it was time for her to forgive and to move on.
Jeff was sentenced to life in prison for something he did when he was 17. And now, 30 years later he’s being recommended to be released from prison on parole. The sister had one condition: that Jeff check in with her once a month and let her know how he’s doing. Whoa!
One more… One of the best books I’ve ever read is called “Unbroken” by Laura Hillenbrand. It’s a biography of Louis Zamperini, an Olympic track star who survived a plane crash in the Pacific during World War II, spent 47 days drifting on a raft, and then survived more than two and a half years as a prisoner of war in several Japanese POW camps.
The power of his story is not only found in the remarkable strength and resiliency of Zamperini, but also in his ability to, years later, go back to Japan and offer forgiveness to his former captors.
Can you imagine? I can now, thanks to these amazing stories.
These three stories of forgiveness and redemption cut straight to the heart of the gospel message. God doesn’t want any of us to live in unforgiveness… and most of us need it ourselves, and need to offer it to someone else!
Forgiveness doesn’t happen when we deserve it. It happens when we don’t.
I pray that you will, in honor of these people mentioned above, take a moment and offer forgiveness to someone in your life… someone who probably doesn’t appear to deserve it, but who desperately needs it.
“To forgive doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. It did happen, but I no longer need to seek recompense from the other person. Nothing is owed to me any longer.” —taken from this post:
For “You Held Us (Anna’s Song)” I wanted to write a song of grief that was infused with hope. I hope you give it a listen.
Mark: Dead on. Forgiveness makes life easier. And erodes the bitterness we as humans tend to carry around. Many years ago, I came across an adage that I use/think of a lot. Not sure who it should be attributed to, but here it is: "Forgiveness is like releasing a prisoner and finding out that prisoner is you." I've seen it work in others I've known and in my life, too.
When my daughters were younger, they were in ballet school. The costumer/seamstress had a son that was murdered in his early 20s. His killer was found and sentenced. Several years after, she went to the prison and forgave him. How incredible is that?
In my own life, I've needed to forgive many people, many close to me. And I've needed forgiveness from others. Much forgiveness from many people. And I need forgiveness from you for how I have treated you in the past.
In my most important human-to-human relationship - which today is strained - I've worked hard to forgive. And I've realized many important things about that relationship. I'm ready to make significant changes while maintaining that forgiveness. I wouldn't have been able to forgive in such a way without first realizing how much forgiveness Jesus Christ grants me. I say that not as a way to abuse the grace Christ affords me, but to say that developing a relationship with Jesus Christ has empowered me to forgive in the ways that I need. Do I still struggle with forgiveness in some ways? Yes. Like I said, I need to extend forgiveness to many, each relationship coming with its unique things to work out. And I can always be more Christ-like. And I know Jesus Christ is always there to guide me in those things.
Peace, Brother.
Everyone needs to read this! Such beautiful expressions of forgiveness. Thank you!