How To Love Mean People In 3 Easy Steps
Ha! There’s nothing easy about it. But do you want to? That’s the first step—deciding if you actually want to love someone who is mean. Then, we can figure out what that might entail. If yes, please proceed.
Figure out what it means to love someone? Some might say it’s an ooey-gooey showing of affection, which of course it is (and I’m a 100% fan of), but not what we’re talking about here. At the core of this question, I believe what we’re actually asking is: ‘“How can I not turn into a miserable person because of this other person (or group of people) who seems to have ill intent toward me.” (We can talk about healthy boundaries and loving actions at another time, if that’s ok.)
Are you saying this is an inside job? Yes, I am. Being a loving person and not a big meanie, is rooted in how loved you feel, or even moreso, how much you love yourself. When you know love, you can show it to others.
When I know myself as completely loved, I no longer have any need to change other people to be who I want them be to make my life better or more comfortable.
I have lived too many years blaming other people’s horrible behavior for my “justified” anger toward them. Then I realized I have a choice in the matter. So, let’s start with ourselves, someone we can actually have control over!
Wait! I thought you said there’d only be three? Well, once I get going, it’s hard to stop. So, how do we not let other people determine what kind of person we’re going to be? It seems super simple when we put it that way. We just stop. You are the one who gets to decide how loving you’re going to be. You get to decide how much peace you want to feel in a world oozing with chaos. It’s all up to you. No one else has the right to determine that for you. Even the mean people.