What I Can't Control: The List is Long

Grasping for remnants of certainty in the chaos of the unpredictable

I’m guessing my kind of out-of-control probably doesn’t look like your kind. But I’m sure that something we have in common is that we both try to hang on to whatever remnants of certainty we can find in the midst of real life that is slippery, unpredictable, and chaotic. That doesn’t mean we have to run for the nearest bunker and hide away until the Last Days. Life is meant to be experienced, not something to shield ourselves from.

All my years of living this way have taught me that there are some things in life I can control, but way more things that I can’t. I can’t control what happens to me, but I can seek to control what happens in me and through me. I can’t always control my emotions, but I can control whether I criticize myself for having those emotions. I can’t control other people, but I can decide how I treat them in response (as well as creating healthy boundaries to protect myself!). I can’t control how much God intervenes in my life, but I can decide what it means for me to be a person of faith.

When you list it all out like that, we really do have a lot of things that we can control. Our problem is that we spend way too much time and energy trying to control the things we can’t control.

Repeat after me: I can’t control other people. I can’t control what happens in Washington, D.C. I can’t control what happens behind the scenes at my church. I can’t control what anybody thinks about me. I can’t control if my child rebels, or in what manner. I can’t control whether I get cancer. I can’t control when I die. I can’t control if people recognize my talents. I can’t control my friend who drinks too much. I can’t make my spouse/partner love me any better. * Please add your own...use several pages if you’d like

I have to personally add this confession: I can’t control whether anybody reads this book or not. Or, if they do, whether it’ll actually benefit their life as much as I might want it to. But here’s the truth of the matter: I’m still going to write this book. I’m going to write this book because that’s the kind of person I want to be. I want to be a person who believes that the right words heard at the right time can literally be life-changing. ❤️ MS

—From my new book "Losing Control" available on Amazon or here...